From Model to Role Model

Have you ever felt like you were in the right place at the wrong time?

Or on the right path but in the wrong vehicle?

Perhaps you can relate to having an out of body experience that felt like your mind was not agreeing with your soul?

My dear reader, you’re not alone… please allow me to share this personal story.

As a teen in the early 90’s, the magazine of choice for me was “Seventeen”.  I would flip through that magazine for hours, curled up on my bean bag chair, just wishing and hoping I looked like the airbrushed models that seemed to have the whitest smiles and flawless skin.

After memorizing each photo, I would look at myself in the mirror and pick apart each freckle, my German nose and the god awful pimples that would pop up on my 16-year-old face.

I thought to myself, if I just have the right makeup I can bury those flaws under a cake filled mask and look just like those models in the magazine.

I chose to start eating less, a lot less. I would skip breakfast and lunch at school as well, so by the time I would get to my part time retail job at the mall I would treat myself to a soda and a cookie from the bakery across the hall.  That sugar rush would give me the boost that I needed to get through the evening with some energy, so I thought.

This was a normal routine throughout my teen years which took an effect on my health overall.

I was obsessed with my looks… 

I thought that was all the value that I had to give to this world. What didn’t help my situation out was that I was nic-named “Barbie” by my high school peers as well.

I was told often that I was photogenic and that the camera loved me.  This sent me a signal that my only value was to be an object smiling at the camera, which left me feeling empty inside.

So naturally, when my senior year showed up I chose to apply for a pageant.  In my lack of knowledge about these competitions I chose to apply with Miss Michigan World America. Not the smartest decision without any pageant experience to jump head first into such a huge establishment. I had no clue what I was doing but I was confident that I could find a way to win a scholarship and help my parents with the burden of my college tuition.  I found sponsors, posed for my professional headshots and found a sequined gown that weighed about 15 pounds!

As I stood on that stage, with my sewn in pads to keep my breasts in place…

I remember thinking to myself, “Why am I up here”?  I felt like we were being herded out into the spotlight like cattle.

We had over 120 contestants.  They quickly narrowed us down to the top 50.  Thankfully my name was not called.  A part of me was disappointed yet relieved.  The expectations were high and I was not prepared.  I also felt sick by the whole experience.  I couldn’t believe I was being judged on my God given appearance.  This pageant didn’t even have a talent competition.

I look back and see that day as a blessing.  It literally stopped me in my tracks of how I was choosing to show up in this world.  I started to see who I was beneath the surface and how I needed to stop the insanity of finding perfection and actually learn who I was on the inside.

Fast forward to my mid 30’s after divorcing my husband of 12 years.  I had gotten lazy with my appearance as a new stay at home mom.  So I decided to find myself again after ending that chapter of my life.  I started losing weight and changing my appearance only this time I did it the right way.  I had studied holistic nutrition and had gotten my degree in 2006.  This time it was about achieving a natural glow not a make-up filled mask. 

When the pounds started to drop, my confidence grew again and guess where I found myself?  Back in front of the camera. Only this time it was posing in the desert wearing lingerie and bikinis.  My hunger for the spotlight was back and a part of me just needed to prove that I was camera worthy.  You can call it a mid-life crisis if you wish but I was only 34.  That familiar sting of feeling like these actions were empty and shallow returned.  Sure I loved seeing the shots afterward of the art we got to create but it still felt empty.

The echoing sounds of others telling me I belong in front of the camera still kept ringing in my ears.

It wasn’t until 5 years later that I found what made me feel full and everything in my life leading up to that instant made sense.  You see I had it wrong.  I wasn’t meant to be a model; I was meant to be a role model.  My photogenic face wasn’t given to me in vain, I get to use it on my brand, published books and online marketing for empowering women.  I get to be the face that encourages and uplifts women all around the world.  I just assumed because the camera liked me, that I had to fake a smile and pretend I didn’t have anything important to say.  I had always knew deep down that I was more than just another pretty face.  I had the face of a model, the brains of an entrepreneur, and a heart like an angel. 

I could finally be used in a really big way!

To empower young women to see themselves as people, not objects.  To know that their voice, opinion and feelings matter.  That they get to be more than just something sexy to look at.  That they get to be artists, singers, athletes, creators, authors, teachers, mentors, public speakers, entrepreneurs, activists, and business owners.

They get to feel confident no matter how their skin and hair looks or what size dress they wear.  They get to be adored for their mind and the brilliance they bring to this planet.

I had discovered the crossroad where the ego dies away and the soul begins to shine.

That my friends is why I choose to still look into that camera with confidence as I share my daily thoughts on my YouTube Channel, group coaching programs, workshops and public speaking events.

Deep down inside, it’s not the face that’s so important but the words and expressions that get to burst from my heart like a flame.  A flame that gets to ignite each woman globally as I now approach my 5^th anniversary date of taking my business Internationally as a business and lifestyle coach.

Where have you taken a detour in your journey? Where have you second guessed yourself and stopped listening to your soul’s truth?  What gifts have you been given that you’re placing on a shelf or hiding away for a later date?

I was on the right path, just wasn’t in the right vehicle. 

I knew I needed to be seen, but I had the wrong motive.  Once you’re on the right path and your soul is in the lead, you will live a life of true fulfillment. 

Do you feel that you may be headed in the right direction but somehow missed a turn and are headed down a very slippery slope?

Apply —->>>>> HERE to have a Free Consult with Karie Millspaugh to utilize her tools to gain clarity and intuition needed to keep you making confident strides in your life and business.