Rules

I want to create some awareness about the rules that we give ourselves – where did they come from and why do we keep them.

As I’m writing this, I can smell cherry pie baking in the oven right now. Most of you know that I’m from Traverse City, Michigan (Cherry Capital of the World) and I’m a die-hard cherry enthusiast so you won’t find pumpkin pie here, just cherry. So here I am breaking rules that don’t exist – Broken Rule #1 “You must ALWAYS bake pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving”. Well, I don’t like pumpkin pie, and I’m not going to force myself to eat something that I don’t like.

So, what are you baking in your oven right now or are you done with Thanksgiving dinner? If you’re not in the United States – I kindly suggest that you grab some turkey and join us anyway. This holiday of ours is an excuse for most to overeat – watch football and get ready for the Christmas season.

I broke a few more rules recently and put my Christmas tree up a week before Thanksgiving. I quickly found out that many people on Social Media have strong opinions about when you are SUPPOSED to put your tree up. “It’s supposed to be AFTER Thanksgiving, they said... but what if you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving where you live? Then what…? And who created this silly rule?

So Broken Rule #2…. as I keep on breaking them and doing what FEELS right to me and my life.

The other day my ex-husband asked if he could come visit for Christmas, he would be traveling from Michigan to Las Vegas, as we, my daughter and I, have chosen to stay in Vegas this year. My first gut reaction was heaviness, as I have been divorced over 11 years now and I would love just ONE Christmas without the energy of my past life around me. He and I get along fine, I just really want to feel like I can move forward without feeling dread every holiday.

So I was honest with him – and told him we had plans and that most likely he would be sitting alone on the holiday. Broken rule #3 – “put others before yourself all throughout the holidays, their happiness is more important than yours”.
 
Says who?

Why should I feel lousy every Christmas instead of feeling joy and excitement around my favorite holiday? I think I’ve carried this burden long enough, of trying to make him happy out of guilt for leaving him, and it’s time to let it go…

So I want to ask you, where in your life are you keeping “rules” that someone else created and made up?

Where in your life are you limiting yourself from choosing what you want to really do?

At this stage in my life, I choose wisely between what my Lord knows is best for me and what I feel is right in my soul. 

No more people pleasing – no more feeling guilted into doing things that would make others happy, and leave me feeling miserable.

In 2020 I choose to listen to my inner knowing instead of allowing guilt to show up and make me feel like I have to bend over backwards for everyone else’s happiness.

A miserable Karie is ‘no good’ to anyone, including herself.

I hope my recent experiences and thoughts have caused you to pause and reflect on where you’re not listening to your inner voice. I’m not asking you to be selfish and inconsiderate – I’m asking you to choose responsibly. 

YOU are responsible for your own happiness and well-being, so be accountable.

Wishing you well this holiday season and listen to your gut – it’s always right!